Woohoo! My book comes out today! I’m Juliet Rosetti, author of The Escape Diaries, whose heroine is Mazie Maguire, escaped felon and bustier-wearing crime solver. Some reviewers have compared Diaries to the books of Janet Evanovich, one of my favorite writers. I should be so lucky as to have a smidgen of Janet’s talent. She has an amazing ability to generate laugh-out-loud moments and to create characters so vivid they virtually leap off the page. I’m so-o-o envious!
Sue Grimshaw, Random’s fabulous Genius-at-Large, suggested the idea of interviewing both kick-ass heroines, Mazie and Stephanie. So hang onto your big Jersey hair, because you never know what secrets these two may let slip–and it might not be coincidence that both ladies are holding handcuffs.
Stephanie: Curly brown hair, five six, and slim except when I’ve pigged out on Boston cremes and can’t fasten the top button on my jeans. I’m a bounty hunter. I bring in people who’ve jumped their bail and some of my methods aren’t exactly kosher. Some days I love what I do; other days I want to get a job at the button factory.
Mazie: Irish blue eyes, Italian perfect pitch and hair color that varies day by day, depending on what disguise I’m currently attmepting. I guess my job description would be: escaped felon, running for my life. What else? Oh, I have a knack for falling for the wrong guy. And I’m not very brave, but Imake up for it by being kinda sneaky.
Question: Where is your story set?
Stephanie: Trenton, New Jersey. I’ve got Jersey hair, attitude and street smarts.
Mazie: Milwaukee, although I was brought up on a Wisconsin farm. You want some hay baled? I’m your woman.
Question: What are your strengths?
Stephanie: Catching bail jumpers. Demolishing doughnuts Destroying cars. Mud-wrestling. Walking a tightrope between the two alpha males in my life.
Mazie: Resourcefulness. No matter how dire a situation is, I believe there’s always a way out.. And listening to my gut instead of my brain.
Question: Who are the men in your life?
Stephanie: Joe Morelli, a cop who’s badass when it comes to bad guys but ve-r-ry good in the bedroom. Then there’s Ranger, who has the body of Mr. America and exudes male pheromones that are nearly visible to the naked eye. Frankly, Ranger scares me sometimes.
Mazie: My guys? There’s Muffin, a shih-tsu who has the personality of a Rottweiler trapped inside the body of a Beanie Baby. And there’s Bonaparte Labeck, an ex-hockey player who looks like he ought to be modeling Jockey brand underwear and is only a hair more civilized than Muffin. He’d very generous, though—he lent me his underwear.
Question: Who’s the scariest person you know?
Stephanie: Joe’s Grandma Bella, who can curse styes onto people and who once put the Vordo on me, making me super-horny. It was not my fault!
Mazie: Hands down, my mother-in-law, who resembles the evil queen in Snow White and sends me poison cookies.
Question: What was the most frightening thing that happened to you?
Stephanie: The time a gang of urban thugs kidnapped me and made me fight for my life inside a chalk circle drawn on the pavement. Or maybe the time I was almost fricasseed alive with a flame thrower. Or being pursued by an insane boxer.
Mazie: Being stalked through a maze of plastinated human bodies by my gun-toting in-laws. Or being strung up in a milkhouse by a lust-crazed farmer. But what’s really scary is that—even though my record with guys stinks—I think I’m falling for Labeck.
Question: Any advice on love and romance?
Stephanie: Wear high heels and skimpy black dresses. Don’t fall in love with two men at the same time.
Mazie: When life gives you hot fudge sundaes, eat the cherry first.
“Readers, please note this post is purely for fun and is in no way endorsed by or written in conjunction with Janet Evanovich. Think of it more like fan fiction!”
Which authors or fictional characters would you love to interview? What questions would you ask?
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Juliet grew up on a Wisconsin dairy farm. She has taught school in Milwaukee and in Sydney, Australia, where her duties included coaching cricket—a pretend sport originated by the Monty Python troupe. Her travel pieces, humor, and personality profiles have appeared in many publications and she is a past winner of The Milwaukee Journal’s Wordsmith Award for Non-fiction. Currently she lives in Oshkosh, Wisconsin with her husband and son and is working on the second Mazie Maguire novel.
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