Hannah is in the window seat of a cute at a cafe waiting to interview Patti LuPone for a GQ advertorial. She’s extremely excited about this, and tells the waitress that when Patti LuPone arrives, to let her know where Hannah is sitting. The waitress clearly doesn’t know who Patti LuPone is. Hannah can’t believe it. She’s like, you know: “Don’t cry for me Argentina…”
Her phone rings, and it’s Adam. She tells him she’s at her Patti LuPone interview, and he says he’s at his call back. “Oh my God are you excited?” He says that everyone there looks “how I’d look like with a nose job.” A guy named Desi at the call back tells him the casting director won’t like him being on the phone. Adam thanks him for the tip and asks what part he is reading for. He is visibly relieved when the guy names a different part.
Jessa is at the kids clothing store where she works. She ties one of the kid mannequins in the window with a scarf as if hanging it. She’s so bored, she begs the UPS guy to talk to her.
Hannah gets a text. Apparently, Patti LuPone is standing her up. Hannah makes excuses to the waitress.
Adam gets called back into the room by casting director. “Do you guys want me to give a different read or?” She tells him “Congratulations. You got it.” He goes into the bathroom, stuffs paper towels in his mouth, and screams with excitement. Outside he sees Desi, who also landed a part. Desi offers him a ride on his motorcycle back to Greenpoint.
Hannah tracks Patti LuPone down at her rehearsal (like a psycho!) Hannah talks her into doing just a five minute interview. (It’s an oddly good example of not taking no for an answer, yet still makes her look crazy.) Hannah reminds Patti that at the bottom of the interview it will say that’s it sponsored by the drug Stronova. Patti says yeah, I have to mention Stronova. Hannah concedes that it’s a little unnatural, but they will find a way to work it in.
Hannah: How long have you had Osteoporosis?
Patti: I don’t have Osteoporosis.
Hannah: Well, you know, Stronova is a bone density drug.
Patti: Oh, right. I can’t say that.
Hannah: Let’s just find an amount of time you’re comfortable with…
Patti: Five years. Does that make me sound ancient?
Hannah: Not at all. It makes you sound like an early victim of Osteoporosis, but like you caught it early enough that you won’t be a hunchback.
Patti: But…can you be an early victim of Osteoporosis?
Hannah: You can be an early victim of Alzheimer’s, so I don’t know why Osteoporosis would be a problem.
Hannah gets a call from Adam tell her that he got the part. She starts shrieking. When she hangs up she apologizes and tells Patti that her boyfriend just got a part on Broadway. “Well, good luck,” Patti says. “He’s going to need you to support him and forgive him…because he’s going to be an asshole.” Patti is telling Hannah that her boyfriend is not going to know she’s going to exist for as long as the show is running. She asks Hannah if he’s mature.
Hannah: In some ways, he’s the most mature person I’ve ever met. In other ways, he has not yet been born.” Patti tells her, “if your boyfriend is sexual in any way, will be f*cking everyone in the building.”
Marnie is at the frozen yogurt shop 16 Handles and runs into old friend Soojin from art gallery, who tells Marnie she is opening her own gallery. Soojin’s arms are laden with shopping bags, and she complains about how broke she is. Marnie pretends to be happy for her but it’s obvious she is dying inside. She asks Soojin if she needs help because she “sees galleries opening and closing every day in Bushwick.”
Soojin: “Mine’s in NoHo.”
Hannah is at work and tells boss she is transcribing Patti LuPone interview now. Her boss assigns her a piece on The Gramercy Hotel. Hannah is psyched. Her boss says, “The only thing is they need it by tomorrow so can you check in tonight?” Hannah asks if she can bring her boyfriend because they’re celebrating that he just got a part in a Broadway show. Her boss says, “Well have fun.” Hannah wonders what that means. She’s completely paranoid now, and knows Patti LuPone has messed up her head. But she is pleasantly distracted by her paycheck: She is surprised by how much money she is making per week. (Her reaction is interesting because it’s completely the opposite of what we usually see in shows about twenty-somethings in their first jobs.) She goes shopping at Intermix. (This is where the show gets more unrealistic than Sex in the City. Intermix does not carry a size that would fit Hannah. No joke, that store is ridiculous.)
Jessa is still bored at work, sitting outside smoking and doing bizarre things in the shop window. Then her older man friend from rehab stops by. “What the f*ck are you doing here?” He tells her not to be vulgar. “How on earth did you find me?” He says he went to her address that he gave her and “even threw stones at your window until some teeny tiny moppet opened up and said, “are you here to rape me.”
Jessa: “Oh, Shoshana!”
Jessa tells him she’s healthy and the last thing she needs is to be hanging out with him. He says selling $200 bathing suits to toddlers is not “who we are.” She says she’s healthy, and “I’m not even attracted to you.” She says before she was “wearing rehab goggles.”
Hannah and Elijah show up to the Gramercy for her research-slash-Adam’s celebration. Shosh arrives and asks what they are celebrating. When Hannah tells her about Adam’s new gig, Shosh says, “Are you afraid he’s going to leave you for Sutton Foster?”
Marnie shows up at Ray’s apartment with a pizza, telling him she’s in a terrible mood. Ray says, “I can’t do this.”
Marnie: “What do you mean?”
Ray: “I want a girlfriend. A legitimate girlfriend. A relationship that’s deep and sincere and challenging and scary.”
Marnie: “So you’re dumping me? Are you f*cking serious? You can’t break up with me, Ray. I don’t care about this. I wouldn’t be eating pizza in front of you if I actually liked you.”
She takes her pizza and storms out.
Adam brings his new friend Desi to the Gramercy. At first, the suite looks empty, but then Hannah, Elijah, and Shosh all jump out yelling, “Congratulations!” Shosh recognizes Desi from One Tree Hill and goes all fan girl. Elijah says, “I am not what you would call a One Tree Hill fan. But I have seen every episode and you upped their game a notch.”
Marnie gets there late and in a foul mood. She throws down pizza and says, “Congratulations Adam.” Her arrival mercifully interrupts Desi’s long-winded story that has everyone’s rapt attention except for Hannah’s.
Hannah follows Marnie into the bathroom and asks her what’s wrong. She says, “I can’t tell you.” She crumples into tears. Hannah hugs her. (For all of her flaws, it’s hard not to feel for Marnie here. You know she is looking at her life, wondering where she went wrong, and finding it impossible to imagine ever finding her way to where she hopes to be.)
Back in the living room, Desi is playing the guitar and singing a folk song. Marnie sings along with him. Hannah says to Elijah, “Are they fucking kidding me?”
Elijah: “I hate myself for loving him.”
Cut to Elijah giving Adam advice about being on Broadway, such as what bars to go to after the show. He tells Adam about an interview he read with Sarah Jessica Parker in Backstage. Adam looks around for Hannah to escape the conversation.
Desi tells Marnie he likes her voice and stops her when she tries to be self-deprecating. They exchange emails.
Adam tells Elijah he doesn’t want to be part of the scene. Elijah asks,” Of the Broadway scene?” Adam replies,” Of any scene.” Jessa and her rehab friend show up. Both are acting manic. Hannah concedes, “So we maybe shouldn’t have taken her out of rehab.”
Later, Jessa and her rehab friend steal money from the clothing store and go out and do coke.
Hannah and Adam are in the hotel bathtub. He says Elijah talks a lot of crap, and she says so does “that weird, folk-singing grifter you brought over.” Hannah confides her fears that Adam will get so caught up in the play he won’t like their life together anymore. He asks if she’s upset he’s doing the play and she assures him that no, she’s happy he’s doing what makes him happy. She says, “I love you. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved, and the only person I ever want to love.” He looks at her intently and says, “Ditto.” She asks him to do his lines and he does them in his English accent. She kisses him.
Will Hannah and Adam survive his first taste of accomplishment? Has Marnie found a new potential love interest in Desi? Is Ray one step closer to trying to get Shosh back? For the first time this season, I actually care. This episode is maybe the closest to the satisfying episodes of the first season. It has humor and heart. I hope it’s a harbinger of what is to come.