TRUE BLOOD, Episode Seven

TRUE BLOOD, Episode Seven
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Now that the audience knows there’s a cure for Hep V, it’s time for everyone on True Blood to be incompetent in order to make the plot last through the end of the season.

Erin, Pam, and the American head of the Yakanomo Corporation interrogate Sarah’s sister, since she’s now the key to everything. Despite – or because of – this, Eric lets his vampire temper get the better of him and stakes her before finding out where Sarah is.

Also making reasonable but bad decisions are Andy and Holly, who discover that Adilyn and Wade are not at the tree house (although their cell phones are) and assume that they are at Holly’s ex-husband’s cabin and take a long drive out of their way to get there.

Of course, Jessica and Sookie, don’t even have a plan. They’re just going to sit with Bill and cry.

Meanwhile, Violet brings Adilyn and Wade to her over-the-top pleasure palace filled with sex toys. Just pause for a minute to consider how over-the-top something has to be on True Blood for us to even mention it’s over the top. In light of all of this, who wants or needs 50 Shades of Grey even if we know this is probably going to end badly. Bonus, Violet kisses Adilyn and Adilyn is possibly into it, but Wade is completely freaked out.

Back in Bontemps, Arlene has an awesome sex dream about vampire Keith.  It’s less obviously one of the vampire-blood induced sex dreams than the same-sex ones the show has featured in the past, which just underscores the way in which True Blood contains lots of LGBT characters and sex but manages to portray them with a great deal of unconscious bias.

Anyway, Arlene and Keith have dream-sex on a pool table and this is actually important later.  So remember that. (Like you could forget.)

Meanwhile, everyone is mad at Eric for killing Sarah Newlin’s sister, and the Yakanomo guy wants Eric to be his vampire endorser for “New Blood” once he gets Sarah to make the antidote product. Clearly, Eric’s lot in eternal life is to just be too attractive for his own good. Pam is not amused at the prospect of Eric being a spokesperson for “vampire Jenny Craig.”

Back in Bill’s sad house of sad, Jessica climb into bed will him to watch him sleep, Bill has more random Civil War flashbacks we don’t know the narrative purpose of and Sookie decides to do something. Anything. Really. Right now.

Over at Violet’s, Adilyn and Wade remain overwhelmed with their sex toy options. Luckily, Adilyn is a faerie, reads Wade’s mind and realizes he’s not into all the toys either, so they have vanilla sex instead. Thank you True Blood for giving me the opportunity to write such sentences for public consumption.

If the scene at Violet’s isn’t uncomfortable enough for you, Hoyt comes back into town with his girlfriend in response to his mother’s death.  Jason has to walk them through the seeing and claiming the body process, all while being awkward about Hoyt not remembering him anymore because of the glamour and Hoyt’s girlfriend being really hot. There’s a three-way hug that Jason will be thinking about for a long time.

It turns out Sookie’s plan is to have Dr. Ludwig, a surly dwarf doctor (the show defines her as a dwarf in a supernatural context later in the episode, just to be clear) look at Bill. She confirms that faerie blood accelerates Hep V, and then runs away when she realizes what Sookie’s faerie lineage is.  So much for that plan.

Sookie next summons her faerie grandfather Niall to help with Bill. He gives her a lecture. And then another one, and it all boils down to magic can’t fix Bill and ordinary things in life – birth, love, forgiveness, death — are all magic too. It’s a lovely scene that makes us start wondering if Bill is really going to die.

You know who is really going to die? Sarah Newlin who flees to her abandoned Fellowship of the Sun camp and starts hallucinating various men she’s slept with predicting her doom.We’re not really sure why she’s hallucinating, if it has something to do with the antidote in her bloodstream or just the stress of being on the run, but we don’t really care. Because Jason Stackhouse may be the most hilarious embodiment of death ever in this scene, but the brief return of Steve Newlin reminds of us just how deliciously weird his plot arc was.

Back in Bontemps Sam is torn between staying with the town and going back to his pregnant girlfriend. He and Arlene have a heartfelt conversation about how messed up everything is. Also in the realm of plots True Blood has almost but not entirely dropped, we get a brief shot of Lettie Mae and Lafayette digging up the yard of their old house.What’s going on with Lafayette and James, we have no idea.

Arlene, after her conversation with Sam, stays at Bellefleur’s, drunk and sad. Vampire Keith shows up for real this time, puts a song on the jukebox, and asks her to dance. He felt her pain and came as soon as he could. Arlene doesn’t understand, she was just sad, not in danger, and Keith says it’s a sort of danger too. They almost kiss, but she remembers she is Hep V positive.  They can’t have sex, and she thinks Keith should leave, but he just holds out his hand to her again and they go back to dancing. It is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and the only time True Blood has ever made me cry.

Which is why the episode then immediately cuts to Violet’s PleasurePalace and her throwing Wade into a wall and using the furry handcuffs on Adilyn. See, not going to end well.

Finally, Sookie runs through the night in her white nightgown that’s just for running. She shows up at Bill’s, declares she’s going to say with him until they end, and then they have sad sex. It’s confronting and difficult and emotional.  It also leaves us wondering if after Niall’s speech, Sookie is going to get pregnant with Bill’s magical vampire faerie Hep V baby.

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