TRUE BLOOD, Episode One

TRUE BLOOD, Episode One
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Season seven begins right where season six left off, at the human-vampire mixer with the infected Hep-V vampires about to attack.  It turns into a mass casualty event with Tara dying off-screen defending her mother. We see her fighting an infected vamp and she seems to have the upper hand, but later in the scene Lettie Mae is clutching Tara’s vampire goo remains.  Oops. Yet the death is so abrupt, it almost feels like a ruse, but it’s unclear what would be in it for Tara or Lettie Mae to fake such a thing.

After the attack, it becomes clear that the infected vampires have kidnapped several people, including Arlene and Sam’s girlfriend.  Unfortunately, when Sam chases after them (as a dog, of course), not only does he fail to find them, but when he returns, Vince, the defeated mayoral candidate, sees him shift.  Predictably he’s completely freaked out, and confronts Sam about being a dog.  Sam, understandably, has no time for this conversation.

As Bon Temps tries to deal with the aftermath of the attack, Andy Bellefleur is called to the bar, forcing him to leave Adilyn (his last surviving half-faerie child) at home alone under the protection of Jessica. He gives Adilyn strict instructions not to invite Jessica in, which obviously guarantees that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

Back at the bar, Sookie’s busy reading everyone’s thoughts.  They all hate her and are offering up an epic dose of vampire-related slut shaming.  Even her current boyfriend Alcide is caught blaming her, which leads Sookie to storm off into the night alone.  She’s so angry at Alcide that when he calls her, she pitches her call phone into the woods, right before tripping over a dead body.

Several human-vampire pairs go out to try to find where the Hep-V vamps are nesting, while others follow Sookie’s not quite sensible lead and go home for the night, including James (Jessica’s boyfriend) who gets assigned to Lafayette.

Meanwhile, Pam is in a Marrakesh bar standing in a bucket playing Russian Roulette against another vampire who is also standing in a bucket. Easy clean-up is important. After Pam survives the match (she’s apparently done this dozens of times), she takes her winnings and, following a lead the club’s manager gives her, heads out to find Eric.

Back at the Bellelfeur residence, Adilyn opens a window to tell watchdog Jessica that she doesn’t blame her for what happened to her sisters although she does think about it a lot.  Jessica notes that she thinks about it a lot too, and then they bond over boys until an infected vamp in the woods smells Adilyn’s faerie and begins to menace the house.

Sookie and Alcide have a fight about Sookie walking home on her own.  Sookie confronts him about his thoughts and also has a general breakdown about the mindreading thing and how exhausting it is.

On the hunt for the infected vampire, Jason and Violet run into Vince and his people trying to take matters into their own hands.  Jason tries manage the situation, but fails when Violet threatens them all vividly.  The insults the vigilantes lob at Jason aren’t that different than the slut shaming Sookie’s been dealing with.

Once Vince and his team depart and Jason and Violet don’t find the nest, Jason starts yelling at her about how she impugned his manhood in front of other people and how he is absolutely, positively, going to have sex with her right now.

The whole thing seems really gross until Violet exclaims, “Finally!” with a laugh.  Apparently, she’s been waiting for Jason to find his inner alpha all along, and they have some spectacular sex on the hood of a car.

Meanwhile, drunk Lafayette and Jessica’s boyfriend are getting high at Lafayette’s place.  James tells the story of how he became a vampire, which involves a long pause in lieu of actual detail about just what his relationship with his best friend during the Vietnam-era was really like.

Ultimately, James says that his best friend’s father beat him nearly to death – while calling him a “hippie f*g” — with a baseball bat after the friend died in Vietnam.  A vampire took pity on him and turned him that night, which allows us to enjoy a moment of Lafayette and James looking longingly at each other before Lafayette offers James his wrist for lunch.

But Lafayette isn’t the only person getting high. Tara’s mom is having hallucinations from drinking vampire blood to heal her own wounds and insists Tara isn’t dead or isn’t quite in heaven or something. Lettie Mae has always been a mess, which makes it hard to know whether we’re supposed to take her seriously about the permanence of Tara’s fate.

Jessica continues her showdown with the vampire menacing Adilyn.  She insists Adilyn drink from her so that she can offer her more protection.  Adilyn is hesitant, but eventually leans through the window to go for it.

Pam’s quest for Eric continues.  She goes to the contact the club owner suggested and is there offered a child to drink from – apparently children have the only clean blood in North Africa and the whole scene feels both gross and offensive.  At least Pam wants nothing to do with the kid.  She just wants Eric, so the girl’s father gives her a map that looks like something torn out of the back of a cheap edition of The Lord of the Rings.  Pam groans.  She’s nowhere near where she’s supposed to be.

Sookie may be miserable, but she finally gets in bed with Alcide to go to sleep, because really, who wouldn’t?  But when she grabs his arm to wrap it around herself, he wakes up, they declare their love for each other and have sex that’s more tastefully shot than I, at least, generally want out of True Blood.

Andy Bellefleur and Bill have better luck finding the infected vampire nest.  Unfortunately, they also find Vince.  This turns into a hot mess of Bill trying to take the blame to save Andy, Andy lying to save Bill, and Vince’s creepy squad of vigilante failures being run off.  That said, Andy makes it clear to Bill that they are not okay with each other and never will be.  Andy just saved him because he needs Bill.

Over at Fangtasia, infected vamps are ripping humans apart for fun.  The Bon Temps captives are chained up in the basement for later feeding.  Apparently, if you’re a hungry vamp with a choice between have hot women trying to make a survival plan and a pasty terrified law enforcement officer, you totally go for the cop first, keeping the people we care about alive.

As Jessica’s flesh starts to smoke as the sun comes up, Adilyn invites her inside.  Jessica darts into the house and cradles Adilyn in her desirous vampire arms before realizing these are not appropriate choices.  Adilyn directs her to the attic and then freaks out as the vampire who was menacing the house bursts into flames on the doorstep.

With the sun risen, Bon Temps’s living citizens meet in church. Lettie Mae tells Sookie she isn’t welcome, and we get another round of the incredibly hostile thoughts the town has towards Sookie.  But Sookie has had enough and makes the sort of indignant speech everyone always fantasizes about making to bullies.  She also notes that she happens to have a lot of experience with vampires, and maybe people should see her relationship history as a feature and not a bug.

The results?  Tune in next week on As the Vampires Turn.


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